you know ive been holding back the tears ever since that one day in the restaurant with james. i knew this day would come, but i just told myself not to think about it b/c so much fun was going to be had before you had to leave. and now the very last thing we were gonna do, our last crazy adventure, was cancelled. because stupid kelly clarkson has broncitus. she should suck it up. im not really concerned about all the money, i mean i am. but after you leave i wont need money b/c i wont have anything to do anyways. just school and work.
well now the flood gates have opened. its not gonna stop for a really long time either. what will i do with out you? we have literally been through everything together. for the last seven years you and i have always felt some kind of poweful emotion towards each other. sometimes it was hate, but we always knew that we'd get over it in the end. we have a bond that no one understands. i spent hours trying to explain it to james, who lets be honest, is the king of unusual relationships. i have never felt so completly connected to anyone in my whole life. you know everything about me and the best thing about it is that ive never even had to tell most of it to you.

when you leave, who will read my mind? who will i do crafts with? sewing is not as fun alone (by the way i busted out my moms sewing maching and did some kick ass heming today). and now....i have to be friends with a BOY!!! ugh!! *sheds a few tears*

im gonna come see you every chance i get. i love you. more than ive ever loved anyone. thank you for always being here for me and thank you for always setting me straight. we're twins so obviously this isnt goodbye. its just...ill miss you.